I've taken a little time off to grieve. And will take some more -- as much as I need, I guess -- especially when it comes to 'public-facing' stuff IRL... Though virtually and in day-to-day life, I've been slowly re-surfacing. It's been tough to just say it... I lost a parent. It's been tough to exit the denial stage, the anger, the 'bargaining' (if we had X would he have Y or Z?)... It's going to be tougher in phases, going forward too, I'm sure. (Could we have done X or Y or Z? Should I have etc etc)
While the one universal truth is that we all must die, and many of you have shared very touching and moving moments/ memories/ remembrances of losing a parent or loved one, it's clearly also one of those intensely private moments of course, so I'm wary of what I write and a little watchful (or more so than usual).
I may look at doing a piece on grief and mourning.
I may not.
I may write a piece on last rites and pandits who get pissed off that girls aren't boys. Or maybe I won't. Right now, I'm not setting any rules for myself. Except to show up...
- Step 1 to not being an asshole, imo has been to Show Up. (When People Need You.)
- Step 2: Don't Lose Your Humanity.
- I guess I know I have the You're Free to be an Asshole card up my sleeve for a limited period of time but am not sure I'll play it. But you never know. Watch this space!
- The one I'm struggling with is of course to be kind/ gentle/ let things be. And the banality of all that happens. How things just continue just the same for other people. This is life, after all. And we all know the clock it's a-ticking but we just act like we got all the time in the world.
- Meanwhile: the passion project continues over on The Health Collective. Here's one of our latest posts.
Why have I decided to write in bullet points? Beats me!
But bless all of you for sharing your stories and for reading the first person accounts and expert views on there.
And be well.
--AT